Hours and hours, time passed, I'm glad I didn't passed out while waiting for those moment to pass! Left my room on Sunday, and today its Wednesday morning and yet I still have another plane to catch before I could finally reach home. Hanim sat waiting beside me. Waiting, that's all we did for the past few days. The other 9 of us have safely met their family since last night. Annoucement: MH1326, Flight Kuala Lumpur to Kuala Terengganu is ready to board. What a relief. After several nights/days sleeping at airports, crossing few continents and not to forget the "suprising" questions by the lady who sat next to me in the flight and many funny incidents through out the journey, I'm finally closer to my love.**Home**
"Pleaseeee". Ok, that's a several kilometers long please, that you would never be able to say no to. I glanced to Hanim, and then Atikah and later to Syue. Within 10 minutes, we managed to buy new tickets to go home tomorrow. The night is too young to end that early, for sure! We went for bowling and somehow Madam Nori, the one and only Nori, managed to make me played bowling. Later, roti canai time with Mr Zul and Uncle Rohan. Funny to see how time flies. Feels like its just a while ago, and then the chit-chatting and so on over. What a great night, indeed. We said that, without knowing the other great event waiting at our 'temporary home'.
"Korang????" Its the hundredth times we shouted, and Isna has safely landed back to our side, after she climbed over the house gate. Being ladies, there's no way we could sleep in the cars, by the road like this. Poor them. Must be very tired after their camping/.., and what more with sudden visitors like us. "Timie call Mak Long Hafizah yer..". Finally, dead end comes lighten. A new 'temporary home". I would never forgot this, huhu, locked outside, and all the sweet memories here. Seriously, Malaysia has too much to offer, too much love was kept here. Love, indeed.
"Korang????" Its the hundredth times we shouted, and Isna has safely landed back to our side, after she climbed over the house gate. Being ladies, there's no way we could sleep in the cars, by the road like this. Poor them. Must be very tired after their camping/.., and what more with sudden visitors like us. "Timie call Mak Long Hafizah yer..". Finally, dead end comes lighten. A new 'temporary home". I would never forgot this, huhu, locked outside, and all the sweet memories here. Seriously, Malaysia has too much to offer, too much love was kept here. Love, indeed.
I cried. I just watched him through the mirror while my feet shaking, and pressing hard, trying my best to reach home as fast as I could. I never imagine that i would be in such situation, ever. I have been praying hard for him to get the courage to wait and stay strong. Few more weeks, and with His will this shall end. I cried again. Carefully hid my face from his view. I still remember when Doctor Yuen asked him when shall he set the date. "As soon as possible". I hurried, answered the question. "Why can't you wait for Raya?", -and that was the respond given by so many people, family, friends and visitors who came to see him at home, after spending the first week of Ramadhan at the hospital. "Wait for Raya?" What would it meant anymore compared to him. Can't anyone understand that? Shari said yes. I felt sorry to them. Listening to me, patiently, when my hearts almost exploded with tears, and I just had no where to go. Hanim frequently checked on me. Grateful to HIM for giving me friends,whom I can always count on. Tears slowly running down my cheek. I don't know how, but I knew I'm still driving as fast as I could now. Blue house, that's the aim. I can't feel my leg anymore, running but I just get slower. Finally, the medicine, and he stayed quite for minutes.
Argument. No, arguments. But that doesn't count. Tomorrow is the day. Even the clothes from the trip before hasn't unpacked yet. Its almost 2 am now. I woke my mom up. Pity her, just had her half an hour sleep. But I had no choice, so sorry Ma. Went down to help her preparing food. Just currypuff and coffee. At least to have something in our stomach before the journey and also as the "sahur" for all of us. I almost forgot how many days has it been in this holy month of Ramadhan or even how many days left before Syawal. What a testing month. The journey went well. Abah's car sulked for half an hour this time. At least its a bit better now. Previously, the car engines suddenly "haze" just an hour after we began our journey to Kuala Lumpur for the first appointment few days ago. Now, we are here again. Kuala Lumpur, suddenly this odd place became my second home. I learnt to 'stay alive' here. Moving around, buying foods for fast-breaking, meeting strangers, streets, I have to stay strong. They count on me, i could never let them down. "Tak apa. Dia dah biasa duk jauh sorang kat oversea, takkan ini tak leh handle". Said them, smiling. Yes, of course I am. Don't worry, I'll be fine. I promised not to make you worry about me. Ever.
3rd September. I had never feel awfully sad on this date. Never. It is a very cheerful day every year. But this year, it was the saddest day ever. He was very quite. Starring at the ceiling. I couldn't even look at him anymore. And the day ended. For the first time,the day came and ended, and I didn't even say a word about it. Happy Birthday Abah. My heart said it out, in a very silent voice. He couldn't move. Laid. Every nurses wondered, where did he got the courage to continue fasting in his condition. I guess I have the answer. I knew him well enough. "Tak Berjaya". Weakly, he told me. I knew he must feel terribly sad. No word to console him. Not even a word to console myself. Day passed. I could only pray to Him. Left alone, but that was my wish. I could bear this myself, "takper, maa jangan risau". The only thing I couldn't bear with now is to left him alone when his heart is breaking..down.
4 days before Aidilfitri, Abah's heart started beating again. It was quiet for a while.
Cardioplegia. It makes the heart stopped during the surgery. A successful surgery, I would call it. The room was very cold, maybe even colder than I used to feel during winter. But my heart wasn't. Its a bit warm now. Seeing him, moving his finger slowly, responding to our calls, that was the only thing that matters now. Suddenly, I missed his eyes. Hazel-green, and a bit red at some parts. I can't wait for tomorrow. Praying hard he will be able to open his eyes by then. A flowery heart goes rimbun .. finally, after weeks of Nil river flooded and wet in every beat. Invisibly cried, my tears has fully grown up now. Clever enough to hide at the best place, my heart. I only cry there now. So no one will see it again. Not him, especially not him.
4th Syawal. I hugged her very tight. I knew I will miss her very soon, and the tears will follow right after. But it doesn't. They left, and I walked away. Hanim's family waited until we entered, waiting for our flight to KLIA. Leaving this place again. I can't recall much, memories here during this summer break. I was here and there..and mostly, in a white building. It never matters where. One thing for sure, I went home. And I was at home in the past 7 weeks. Home is where the heart is. And my home? It didn't exist in Google map. A place you could only seek with love. from His love.
Crossing the continents again. Passing the minutes, hours and days. But my love stayed. Beating rhythmically as before. And always will.
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*****************************************************************Four seasons passed. First year completed.Final chapter ended.
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